In
een uiterst sarcastisch en humoristisch artikel pleit Caitlin Johnstone op haar site ‘voor het stemmen op Joe Biden’, een oorlogsmisdadiger en oud-vicepresident van de VS….. ‘Volgens Johnstone is er geen betere presidentskandidaat voor de Democratische Partij in 2020’, e.e.a. heeft Johnstone teruggebracht in een pleidooi van 9 punten.
Johnstone plaatste dit bericht op 4 april jl.
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mensen!
Nine
Reasons Why You Should Support Joe Biden For President
by Caitlin
Johnstone
Former
Vice President Joe Biden has released
a video statement telling
the American people that the accusations
he is now facing of
touching women in inappropriate ways without their consent is the
product of changing “social norms”, assuring everyone that
he will indeed be adjusting to those changes.
And
thank goodness. For a minute there, I was worried Biden might cave
under the pressure of a looming scandal and decline to run for
president on the grounds that it could cripple his campaign and leave
America facing another four years of Donald Trump. Here are nine good
reasons why I hope Joe Biden runs for president, and why you should
support him too:
1.
It’s his turn.
It’s
Biden’s turn to be president. He’s spent years playing second fiddle
while other leading Democrats hogged all the limelight, and that’s
not fair. He’s been waiting very patiently. Come on.
2.
Most Qualified Candidate Ever.
If
Joe Biden secures the Democratic Party nomination for president, he
would be the Most Qualified Candidate Ever to run for office. His
service as a US Senator and a Vice President has given him
unparalleled experience priming him for the most powerful elected
office in the world. Everything Biden has done throughout his entire
career proves that he’d make a great Commander-in-Chief.
3.
He’s closely associated with a popular Democratic president.
You
think Biden, you think Obama. You think Obama, you think greatness.
You can’t spend that much time with a great Democratic president
without absorbing his greatness yourself. It’s called osmosis.
4.
You liked Obama, didn’t you?
Biden
was part of the Obama administration. Remember the Obama
administration? It was magical, right? If you want more of that, vote
Biden.
5.
But Trump!
Do
you want Trump to win the next election? You know he’ll shatter all
our norms and literally end the world if he does, right? You should
be terrified of the possibility of Trump winning in 2020, and if you
are, you should want him running against Joe Biden. What’s the
alternative? Nominating some crazy unelectable socialist like Bernie
Sanders? Might as well just hand Trump the victory now, then. Anyone
who wants to beat Trump must fall in line behind the Most Qualified
Candidate Ever.
6.
Iraq wasn’t so bad.
Okay,
maybe some of his past foreign policy positions look bad in
hindsight, but come on. Pushing for the Iraq war was what everyone
was doing back in those days. It was all the rage. We all made it
through, right? I mean, most of us?
7.
This is happening whether you like it or not.
We’re
doing this. We’re going to push Joe Biden through whether you like it
or not, and we can do it the easy way or the hard way. Just relax,
take deep breaths, and think about a nice place far away from here.
Don’t struggle. This will be over before you know it. We’ll use
plenty of lube.
8.
Just vote for him.
Just
vote for him, you insolent little shits. Who the fuck do you think
you are, anyway? You think you’re entitled to a bunch of ponies and
unicorns like healthcare and drinkable water? You only think that
because you’re a bunch of racist, sexist homophobes. You will vote
for who we tell you to or we’ll spend the next four years calling you
all Russian agents and screaming about Susan Sarandon.
9.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Honestly,
what could possibly go wrong? It’s not like the Most Qualified
Candidate Ever could manage to lose an election to some oafish
reality TV star. Hell, Biden could beat Trump in his sleep. He could
even skip campaigning in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania and
still win by a landslide, because those states are in the bag.
There’s no way he could fail, barring some unprecedented and
completely unforeseeable freak occurrences from way out of left field
that nobody could possibly have anticipated.
__________________
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Caitlin
Johnstone |
April 3, 2019 at 11:45 pm |
Tags: 2020, biden, Hillary, satire |
Categories: Article |
URL: https://wp.me/p9tj6M-1CJ